Spitwads and the Smoking Trombone

| Oct 24, 2017 |

My first real experience playing with an orchestra came when I was eighteen years old and joined the American Youth Symphony in Los Angeles. At the first rehearsal I was fifth trumpet; by the second rehearsal I was second trumpet. That’s not as impressive as it sounds—the other three players never showed up again.

The principal trumpet was Ron Kidd, and ever since that first rehearsal we have been close friends. Ron eventually left the orchestra and the trumpet to become a writer. He was always a good trumpet player, but now he is a great writer. After Ron left I became principal trumpet, but when I think back to those days, my favorite time in the orchestra was when I was second trumpet. At that time Ron sat to my right, and immediately to my left was Jock Ellis, the principal trombonist. And, believe me, there is only one Jock Ellis!

But there was another person who made playing in the AYS such a memorable experience, and that was the conductor Mehli Mehta (father of Zubin). He loved big pieces from the Romantic era and in addition loved loud brass playing. And we loved to give it to him. That was a time of such idealism, of listening to records all night long and comparing different orchestras. Of course, our only criterion was this: which brass section could play the loudest.

So, we were a very loud brass section. But we were also a very funny brass section, and in this area there was no doubt as to who our leader was. It was Jock.

Jock had a fascination with his trombone and loved to fool around with it. He quickly discovered that the leadpipe, with the slide removed, was perfect for blowing spitwads. Now, all orchestras, youth or professional, have a couple of musicians who are, well, impressed with themselves. In the AYS it was a horn player. Jock took care of him one day during a horn solo by shooting a spitwad that landed on the guy’s left ear. Mehta yelled at the horn player for missing the notes, and we couldn’t stop laughing. In addition to Jock’s aim, his power was also impressive, and he hit a wall clock on the other side of the room. That spitwad was on the clock for at least five years and may still be there.

Jock’s fascination with his trombone didn’t stop there. Once he came to a rehearsal with a beautiful new trombone, a silver Conn 88-H with an F-attachment. Although he didn’t smoke, Jock lit up a cigarette during rehearsal, took a big drag, and blew smoke into his trombone, capturing it inside with the F-attachment. He then waited for a loud brass passage, and when he started to play he released the F-attachment, sending smoke out the bell. Jock had achieved what every brass player dreams of. We were on the floor.

In a recent email, Jock reminded me of an incident that involved the Rossini Overture “La gazza ladra.” It’s probably best if Jock tells this in his own words: “As the long orchestra crescendo built, I raised my horn for the wonderful ladders of scales dear Rossini had written for me. I turned to you and Ron, cupped my hand as if cradling my hanging nuts, and exclaimed, ‘Molti testi!’ Then I blew as loud as I could. Probably louder. Mehta threw down his baton, undo, and suddenly he started laughing. When he composed himself and picked up his stick, he said to the orchestra, ‘You see the power! You see the power of that one instrument! By himself he can slow down the entire orchestra!’”

When I think back to those days, I remember the fun and crazy times we had. Mostly, though, I’m grateful I was able to play for a conductor who shared our passion and love for music. All young musicians should have such luck!